Lost somewhere...i found back myself!

I still do care but now it doesn't matter..,
I'm not sure am I just used to it or I just hide it in my chatter..
There was a time I thought without you I could never be..,
But then I realised there is more to life that I'm yet to see..
For once I thought I would never get up again..,
Drenched in this pain thoughts would drive me insane..
But then life showed me its not the last thing I'm gonna face..,
There would come more difficulties, more challenges, more sorrow for which I had to pace..
Friendship redefined its meaning and family helped me grow..,
I now know love is just a word people use..but no one actually feels it true..!
These realisations made me grow stronger..,
Others opinions on me I care for no longer..
Regaining confidence I'm trying to be the free bird I always wanted to be..,
And lost somewhere smiling I met back the person that was me..

Search for more

There is more to love than a stupid heartbreak..
More to friendship that friends who are all fake..
Let destiny take a miserable take..
We decide our tomorrow not just our fate..
Hardships come but so does joy..
With gloomy times comes days we enjoy..
When its all pitch black and everything feels hollow..
All alone on our own we lie with no one else to follow..
But then we learn to stand and let go of our hesitations..
We find a will within ourselves ignoring all other temptations..
Towards infinity we walk fighting the darkness of our mind..
And at the end of the road a ray of hope we do find..
To the same world we enter but with ourselves renewed..
Again searching more to life in the same land where we earlier stood. 

Love..can never be understood

A feeling so serene..and yet too mean,
Love has no definition..still people define it in many ways I have seen.
What is love? I never understood,
some live in it some die and others do what they should.
I don't know is it just attraction or infatuation that leads to love..,maybe its neither & into this I never went to shove.
Confusing as it is..its neither meant to make any sense,
It's just meant to be felt..when you heart starts beating for someone and you can play no defense.
What would be it like to fall in love I wonder..have I already fell or my heart is yet to surrender.
Its painful too..not all that wonderful as it seems,
Losing yourself..you sway away to some world deep down into its dreams.

A lovestory that was never meant to be

Was it love at first sight? How can it be..I hardly caught a glimpse of you that morning.
Crowded auditorium..borings intros..your voice was the only thing I noticed & that gave my heart a warning.
Sitting in second last row uninterested I suddenly came back to my senses,...'who is this boy with such a marvellous accent?'my heart thought..no matter how my mind played defenses.
Trying to see your face I looked up but then I just couldn't meet your eye..an uncontrollable feeling your voice had given me..just made me feel more and more shy!
Girls beside me were going all "Oooww"..& I sat there wondering 'what is this feeling new?'
When you said your name at last, my heart just kept repeating it & beating fast,..I never felt dragged towards someone this way before...never by the note of their sound, that's for sure.
Your looks did drive girls crazy there & I found it rather odd,..not you being handsome but me not noticing it, until someone commented and I gave them a 'oh yeah' nod.
Black shirt-blue jean guy my mind registered..'Hope he is in my class' is all my heart said still flustered,..and with joy it did fill when you actually were..controlling my blush I too slowly with the crowd stir.
All day long my eyes silently spent sneaking at you,..not that I was the only one..I could see others doing the same too.
Just by being from a different country you already gained enough fame..and your talents were just a bonus to it..there wasn't a person left who didn't knew your name.
Those were the initial days when I considered you rude coz you hardly smiled..But when you did my heart swooned more..I smiled back & just silently sighed.
So uncomfortable around you i was that I actually ran away from you at times..but my daydreams started having your entries and in the background some music chimes.
I could hardly breathe when you were near..my heartbeat went fast and slow..the more i knew you the more i fell..the crush turned deeper and infatuation grew.
Surprisingly as our friendship too grew stronger..I realised I have to wait no longer..for you were someone who I was looking for as a soulmate..I loved you I now knew but my fate..it happened to be too late.
For the rumours that you loved someone that I neglected turned out to be true..my heart broke and I felt this pain that ppl talk of..all fresh and anew.
And here I'm still trying to get over this pain..,struggling to fake a smile as my tears continuously rain.
This is my story..a love story that was never meant to be..,
Lost in friendship..Love coming my way I could never see.
This average looking girl fell for that young dashing guy..& hoping he'll understand someday I'm still waiting..for his reply.

I wish i could imagine..a life without you

Its been a while since I felt some peace at mind...its been long since I actually meant it when I said I'm fine.
I don't know am i just tired of life or is it just the hangover of losing you..I wish I could imagine a life,..a life where I can be happy without you.
I can't I'm sorry..I can never make myself stay away from you..but I'm constrained here not you..just go away & be happy..and forget me..as the friend that you ever knew.
It won't be easy for me..possibly ever to ignore you,..so please just do this for me..I need to learn to survive without you.
You say love can happen twice..I assure you even if it does to me..it won't be anything like this..what I felt for you.
with all this pain in my heart..and tears slowly breaking me apart..knowing that you won't understand ever..i still wanna tell you.. that...
I Love You.

The proposal ;)

You are the dreams I dream..the song i sing...you are the stars & the moon & nearly everything..
You are the beat of my heart..the love of my life...& as these forever would you always stay with me?

Some words are better left unsaid

So much in just one year.. I would really go mad I feared.
But with you there how can I..coz I'm already crazy for you and I know it every time I think of you and sigh.
You make me feel good...you make me feel all right..,When I feel the world beside me is crashing..when I fear things are never gonna be right.
You give me the strength to live..your words reach my soul and so I can tell..this is why I ever fell..too deep for even me to tell.
I love you..I wish I could say..but every time i think of this I tend to back away.. For I know you'll never love me, I'm not good enough for you..and now that you love someone else its too late for me to tell too.
I shed a tear every time this thought comes to my mind...it aches deep inside but I keep telling myself I'm fine.
I still fear if you ever get to know of this..you won't talk to me ever,...some words are better left unsaid..and this secret too would die with me..forever!

If someone asks me of my first love it would always be you..

If pain demands to be felt..i think i had enough!
if tears are left to flow..by now even a flood can be risen up,
I don't want you to love me back..but i loved you so much for us to now get detached.
This friendship of our's would always bloom..but this heart here would never get rid of this gloom.
Days from now when u would be enjoying all success and fame..every tear i shed would still have ur name,
this wouldn't end..the pain I feel i did foresee...but still waited hoping that someday you too would see,
this love that i held deep within my heart..which the world could see but you could not!
were you so blind or you never cared to bother?...coz you were the only one who never found me odder.
i thought u did know me well...but then i guess this was too much for you to tell..,
for you were in love with someone & i was with u..& love is blind i know..you don't even see the world beside you..,
I would wish for your happiness wherever or with whomever you be..but i still want to tell you that i love you..always was yours & always will be..,
I can't ever let this out though..i'm so fond of you to hurt you..,you'll always be my dearest friend and i hope i too always would be one to you too...,
Ages from now when i see that once in a blue moon shooting star,i would still wish for you...coz even then if someone asks me of my first love..it would always..always be u.

Sapno ki deewani

Rozani hai ye kahani...dhundhti phiru usse main deewani...
jo na jane duniya ke kis kone me hai basta...pata nahi kis mod pe milega, uski ore jo le jaye wo rasta...
Har gam hai manzoor usse paane k liye...jee lenge hum har khushi har gam jiye...
wo zindagi me ho toh kya aalum hai...har lamha khoobsoorat...har pal ek haseen sitam hai...
jeena marna hoga uske saath...saath nibhayenge hamesha haathon me haath...
kabhi na tootega wo rishta hoga hamara...had dard bhi lagne lagega meetha meetha pyaara pyaara.

One day you'll break free

One day would come when you'll break free...
forget the pains any enjoy the glee...
when stars would shine brighter & the sun would beam...
the rainbow would make its way down,to the world serene...
that would be the day when hopes die & dreams come alive...
to make a reality so gay that even would fantasy feel shy!

 

There is some good behind every pain

Never give up! however the circumstances be,
because there is some good behind every pain we feel.
Every night silently waits for a day to come,
after every rain to sunshine the sky realm. 
Beyond our imaginations there lies a world that we don't see,
its beyond reality,& that's where we are supposed to be.
where joy begins and pain doesn't last forever,
Where one never is alone...and remains happy forever.

The day my heart broke

The day my heart broke...i was building up a new hope...
getting myself look better..to act as an attention setter..
then all at once my world shattered...the place the time then didn't matter...
drowned in tears i was moaning aloud..awake i lay there when  the whole world was sleep bound..
till dawn with sore eyes..crying more seeing the pain rise..
regretting ever falling into this..only to wake up in the morning with on a disguise..
From then on i can't get rid of this habit..to cry myself to sleep everyday till dawn hit..
as i keep getting reminded of all the pain..the day my heart broke..the day that went in vain..

Bacpan ke sapne

Bacpan se ek sapno ke rajkumar ko khojhti thi...
har chehre me uska chehra dhoondhti thi....
jab dikh gayi thi ek chehre me aas..
jaana ki uska dil toh hai kisi aur ke paas...
toot gayi umeed bikhar gaye sapne..
ab toh bas dard basta hai iss dil me apne...
Shayad pure hi nahi hone the ye kwaab..
ye chotti si aasha...ye bachpan ke sapne...!

Agar duniya me gam na hote

Agar duniya me gam na hote...
toh khushiyon me dil yu na khote...
alag hi hota ye sara aalam..
dilo me dard ke ye sitam na hota...

Adhuri na rehti koi daastan..
sisak sisak ke hum yu na rote..
aanson na bante angare..
na neend se ye naata hum yu khote...

Dard ki bediyon se angaane...
hassi khusi ki mehfil me hum yu sote..
na din raat ki ginti rekhte...
waqt ke ghere se na kabhi bandhe hote..

I hope all this ends soon.

Things change...people change...but memories always remain..
i'm not saying i didn't try...but the old strength i still can't regain..
Forgetting you would have been easier if amnesia affected my brain..,
coz with each day its getting only worse..i just can't cope with this pain..
I wish i was sensible enough..having stepped into a trap known..,
always knew this would happen someday..but still i let my dreams boon..
If i could ever go back in time..I'll undo our meeting of that noon..,
when i first saw you there...and your voice made my heart swoon..
I only want to let go of this gloom...all i hope is that all this ends soon..
These lingering memories...this untold feeling...this unbearable pain that with time had grown...

 

The last Hi..

I did my bit...i sent a last "Hi"..not to get a reply...just to show that i did try..!
Though i know we can't be friends anymore..for it would only get too hard for me to survive...
i'll try again if i can someday... if this pain ever leaves by..
It was nice knowing you though...i would always remember the good times..
But this aching heart would never forget this pain..no matter how many more years pass by...!

The call of stars

What i see at night is a bunch of stars....shining away..all so far...
beyond the mortal reach of men...beyond the dreams that lie within..
I wanna fly along & catch them all...i wanna make it there but i'm afraid I'll fall...
Its reality that binds me off...doesn't  let me fly to the sky atop..
But someday I'll set my wings free...break myself from these chains  free..
Fly away to those shinning stars...twinkling there in a world so far..

Dil ye jo geet gungunaye jaye...

Dil toh tutna hi tha...haath toh chutna hi tha...
mile kyu the hum tum...jab dilon ko ruthna hi tha...
Namunkin tha jaan k hi sahi...dil de diya tha tujhko...
apna humdard maan k hi sahi...ye dosthi bha gayi thi mujhko..
Bhul gayi thi ki kya kismat hai meri...jisme khushi k liye ki jagah kam hai..
phir bhi mann me tu hi hai basta...na jaane je rahe kis bharam me hum hai...
Bhul jaane ko toh kab ka bhula diya hota...par yaad teri dil se jaati hi nahi.
jaise taise din kaat lete hai hum..par raat ko neend hame aati hi nahi...
Kaash kabhi wo pal aaye...ki iss dil me kya hai tu jaan paaye...
sun sako tu sun lena...jo geet mera dil gungunaye jaaye...

The crush i never had..

It doesn't have to be this way...it doesn't have to hurt so much...
i wish i could just end this feeling....i wish i could just turn it all into a crush..
but i know its a lot more than that...although i never accept...
i felt something for you from the very first day...and for that till now i regret...

I can't tell you how much i care...i can't tell how much it pains...
for you are one among my closest friends...and i can't let this friendship break in vain...
i thought i was strong enough..I'll handle this all without complaints...
but i can't stand watching you with someone else...you don't know how much i restrain...

I don't know if your heart belongs to someone...bt mine beats fast even when i just hear your name...
you don't know what you do to me when you are somewhere around...
i'm quite obsessed even by the note of your sound...

This feeling would someday end i hope...and that would mark the end of this untold story too..
fate still would keep playing its games...and life would carry on unaltered in a journey new..!

Love is nothing but a fantasy!

If there is such a thing called true love I think I wanna stay away...,
for it hurts to love someone & not to be loved back...
All-day all long in our desires, we sway...without thinking even once what we really have to pay...,
deep away in our Dreamlands...with our loved one we stay...,
the one for whom our heart beats...the one for whom we can give our life away...
But there is nothing as true love, a loyal partner or a soulmate..,
they all exist in fiction and stories but reality holds another gate...
Its all about pretty faces today... it's all about how "beautiful" you are....,
no one ever sees what you are inside...no one ever notices who you really are...!
Love is nothing but a never-ending fantasy that we build within our minds...
A so-called illusion for which we lose our conscience...

Somewhere, where dreams come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star,
& wake up where the chocolate clouds are.
Where laughter sounds like chimes. 
Where everything we say rhymes.
Where rain tastes like lemon drops.
Where Santa arrives every weekend from chimney tops.
Where everyone knows you, loves you and is your friend.
Where the stories after happily ever after begins.
That's where you'll find me,
Over the rainbow in the blue skies.
Where I'll be aboard a train off to somewhere new.
Somewhere, where dreams come true...

Kuch adhoore se khwaab

Khamakha bewajah kwaab bunti rehi...,
tune jo na kaha main wo sunti rehi...

Yaad hai aaj bhi jab hue the juda..,
tune kuch na kaha..par main sunti rehi...

Dil me jo baat thi dafn hi reh gayi...,
na zubaan keh saka...dhadkanone jo kaha..

Mann hi mann kwaab main..phir bhi bunti rehi...,
tune jo na kaha main wo sunti rehi...

Teri yaadon me doobi muskurati rehi...,
teri baaton me uljhi gungunati rehi....

Khamakha bewajah kwaab bunti rehi...
Tune jo na kaha main wo sunti rehi...!

To no man's land we flee

Sometimes I feel like running away...
to a place where no one stays,
in a world devoid of pains,
in a land where happiness begins...

Far away from reality...
where I can dream free without any penalty,
unbound, unleashed with free will
to escape to a new life like a baby sill...

Yes, I'm dying to go to such a place...
where happily ever after do exist.
Where I can be what I'm
& only joy resides in the time to come...

Is there such a place under this sun?
where only desires can carry on the run.
Well, I guess this wish is too true to be real
only no man's land could be so surreal...