Regret

I don't know how long..,
I don't know how more..
Fighting the waves I row..,
Seeking a land..a shore..
For months I have been stuck..,
In the middle of nowhere I duck..
With salt water tossing me up & down..,
I everyday in silence moan..
The day i entered this unknown path..,
I knew of the tempest & the for coming wrath..
But yet I defied my mind..& fled with my heart..,
Only to end up more wounded.. Alone..& tore apart..
Never wanted to reach this phase..in the delusion of desires I fret..,
Hoping for joy to reside lifetime..I forever for this mistake will regret.

Let it be this way!

Sometimes I wish I could just say..but then I guess its better this way.
I don't wanna hurt you by telling you anyway..if friendship is what you want let it be this way.
I can't stop loving you though its too late for me to back away.. Forgetting you seems impossible, in my heart till it stops beating you'll stay.
I know you won't love me ever coz you already love someone else you say..but even that's not affecting my feelings for you, i can't stop my love coming your way.
But I would never say a word I know..can't bear to lose you that way.
My love would rest in my heart forever and if this is what you want let it be this way.

Tum nahi samjhe..shayad khuda ki marzi thi

Tum nahi samjhe..shayad khuda ki marzi thi..,
Tumhe kabhi dikha hi nhi...tumhari hi khudgarzi thi...
Shayad andhe ko bhi dikh jaata..itna toh wo bhi samajh jaata..,
Kis had tak chaaha hai tumhe..par kehne se darti thi..
Kho na dun tumhe..ye soch chup rehti thi..,
Pyaar nahi bas saath chahe..din raat tumhe yaad karti thi...,
Kabhi toh samjha hota..ki bas tumse..sirf tumse pyaar karti thi..,
kabhi toh socha hota..ke na bol payi.. kyuki tumhe..bas khone se darti thi...
Par tum nahi samjhe..aur na kabhi samjhoge..,
shayad yehi...khuda ki marzi thi.

I forget to remember

I forget to remember the truth,
But when I do I wish it remained forgotten.
Its better being swayed all day in one's imaginations, than being shown that that there is nothing left of your aspirations.
Even that small ray of hope i thought i saw, was some drawing daylight going under the shaw.
I realise there is nothing left for me here, the land i once thought was all mine to bear.
I'm standing in the same place I stood that day when I had a choice, I chose wrong I know but now I can do nothing here.
I sometimes try & forget that any of this ever happened, but then I get reminded..& I wish, that it all went forgotten.

It was all just a..Dream

And then I realised it was all just a dream...when I woke up again hearing reality scream,
It doesn't matter how far I run...surrendering myself back here I have to return,
For the never ending pain to drench me again...& eyes pleading for tears to endlessly rain,
Searching desperately for a way to let go...the truth won't change & in time I'll get used to it I know.
But I still can't help swaying away to my thought's theme...only to wake up again & realise it was all just a dream.