I often

I often end up pushing people away,
I often hold some too tight that they slip out and don't wanna stay.

I often care too much and they take me for granted,
I often don't care at all and they leave me taunted.

I often think of the night dreams that leaves me with questions surreal,
I often dwell in day dreams that makes me wonder what's real.

I often think of people I love and crave for their company,
I often am with people I know and search for hiding spots if there happens to be any.

I often share my smiles and laughter with others around,
I often end up crying alone with never anyone there to bother to listen to my sound.

I often be selfless and end up being a victim of judgement.
I often be selfish and the same happens again as to my amusement.

I often carry dreams, hopes and wishes in my mind,
I often bear a pain in my heart or atleast one of its kind.

I often think too much and end up feeling confused,
I often don't think at all and still be bemused.

I often feel like writing but what to write I wonder,
I often end up writing yet will anyone read this? the question ponders.

I often do a lot of things that I really wanna do,
I often do nothing at all but end up doing what I never wanted to.

I often am what I'm,
I often am not,
I often love myself for that,
And I often not.