Lost somewhere...i found back myself!

I still do care but now it doesn't matter..,
I'm not sure am I just used to it or I just hide it in my chatter..
There was a time I thought without you I could never be..,
But then I realised there is more to life that I'm yet to see..
For once I thought I would never get up again..,
Drenched in this pain thoughts would drive me insane..
But then life showed me its not the last thing I'm gonna face..,
There would come more difficulties, more challenges, more sorrow for which I had to pace..
Friendship redefined its meaning and family helped me grow..,
I now know love is just a word people use..but no one actually feels it true..!
These realisations made me grow stronger..,
Others opinions on me I care for no longer..
Regaining confidence I'm trying to be the free bird I always wanted to be..,
And lost somewhere smiling I met back the person that was me..

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There is more to love than a stupid heartbreak..
More to friendship that friends who are all fake..
Let destiny take a miserable take..
We decide our tomorrow not just our fate..
Hardships come but so does joy..
With gloomy times comes days we enjoy..
When its all pitch black and everything feels hollow..
All alone on our own we lie with no one else to follow..
But then we learn to stand and let go of our hesitations..
We find a will within ourselves ignoring all other temptations..
Towards infinity we walk fighting the darkness of our mind..
And at the end of the road a ray of hope we do find..
To the same world we enter but with ourselves renewed..
Again searching more to life in the same land where we earlier stood. 

Love..can never be understood

A feeling so serene..and yet too mean,
Love has no definition..still people define it in many ways I have seen.
What is love? I never understood,
some live in it some die and others do what they should.
I don't know is it just attraction or infatuation that leads to love..,maybe its neither & into this I never went to shove.
Confusing as it is..its neither meant to make any sense,
It's just meant to be felt..when you heart starts beating for someone and you can play no defense.
What would be it like to fall in love I wonder..have I already fell or my heart is yet to surrender.
Its painful too..not all that wonderful as it seems,
Losing yourself..you sway away to some world deep down into its dreams.

A lovestory that was never meant to be

Was it love at first sight? How can it be..I hardly caught a glimpse of you that morning.
Crowded auditorium..borings intros..your voice was the only thing I noticed & that gave my heart a warning.
Sitting in second last row uninterested I suddenly came back to my senses,...'who is this boy with such a marvellous accent?'my heart thought..no matter how my mind played defenses.
Trying to see your face I looked up but then I just couldn't meet your eye..an uncontrollable feeling your voice had given me..just made me feel more and more shy!
Girls beside me were going all "Oooww"..& I sat there wondering 'what is this feeling new?'
When you said your name at last, my heart just kept repeating it & beating fast,..I never felt dragged towards someone this way before...never by the note of their sound, that's for sure.
Your looks did drive girls crazy there & I found it rather odd,..not you being handsome but me not noticing it, until someone commented and I gave them a 'oh yeah' nod.
Black shirt-blue jean guy my mind registered..'Hope he is in my class' is all my heart said still flustered,..and with joy it did fill when you actually were..controlling my blush I too slowly with the crowd stir.
All day long my eyes silently spent sneaking at you,..not that I was the only one..I could see others doing the same too.
Just by being from a different country you already gained enough fame..and your talents were just a bonus to it..there wasn't a person left who didn't knew your name.
Those were the initial days when I considered you rude coz you hardly smiled..But when you did my heart swooned more..I smiled back & just silently sighed.
So uncomfortable around you i was that I actually ran away from you at times..but my daydreams started having your entries and in the background some music chimes.
I could hardly breathe when you were near..my heartbeat went fast and slow..the more i knew you the more i fell..the crush turned deeper and infatuation grew.
Surprisingly as our friendship too grew stronger..I realised I have to wait no longer..for you were someone who I was looking for as a soulmate..I loved you I now knew but my fate..it happened to be too late.
For the rumours that you loved someone that I neglected turned out to be true..my heart broke and I felt this pain that ppl talk of..all fresh and anew.
And here I'm still trying to get over this pain..,struggling to fake a smile as my tears continuously rain.
This is my story..a love story that was never meant to be..,
Lost in friendship..Love coming my way I could never see.
This average looking girl fell for that young dashing guy..& hoping he'll understand someday I'm still waiting..for his reply.

I wish i could imagine..a life without you

Its been a while since I felt some peace at mind...its been long since I actually meant it when I said I'm fine.
I don't know am i just tired of life or is it just the hangover of losing you..I wish I could imagine a life,..a life where I can be happy without you.
I can't I'm sorry..I can never make myself stay away from you..but I'm constrained here not you..just go away & be happy..and forget me..as the friend that you ever knew.
It won't be easy for me..possibly ever to ignore you,..so please just do this for me..I need to learn to survive without you.
You say love can happen twice..I assure you even if it does to me..it won't be anything like this..what I felt for you.
with all this pain in my heart..and tears slowly breaking me apart..knowing that you won't understand ever..i still wanna tell you.. that...
I Love You.